Life’s been pretty rough since coming home from a truly wonderful week at Roxbury Holiness Camp. There has simply been so much “catch up” stuff to do that we can hardly see straight. On top of that was the physical struggle of not feeling well.
During one of the sessions at camp, one of the lessons we heard taught was on the story of Peter walking on the water. Here’s the story from Matthew 14 for context:
22 Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home. 23 After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone.
24 Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. 25 About three o’clock in the morning[b] Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”
27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here![c]”
28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”
29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said.
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong[d] wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.
31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”
32 When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. 33 Then the disciples worshiped him. “You really are the Son of God!” they exclaimed.
We were challenged to think about what our walk on the water may be. Peter took 20 seconds of courage and stepped out of the boat. Why do WE need to get out of the boat? What will our 20 seconds of courage be about?
Our journey at The Farm with our desire to have it be a place of rest, peace, ministry, joy, a place where families can BE, is being interesting. It feels sometimes as though we’re up against so many challenges. It gets wearying. I want to quit, but quitting isn’t an option. I feel alone, but I know we have each other. But where are WE headed? How will this land support us adequately? What is the next step? How do we deal with this issue or that issue? And the questions swirl around faster and faster until you want to scream, “STOP!” and get off the merry-go-round of life for just a minute.
My journey at Lifeline Pregnancy Care Center has also grown and stretched me in various ways and manners. When I was a young mom, I prayed one day I could be a support for young moms….here we’re about so much more than young moms. We’re about seasoned moms. Dads. The kids. Grandparents. Fostering and adopting. Meeting needs – physical, material, emotional, spiritual. Being a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. But when I take stock of my life and all that goes on at home at The Farm, I wonder if I should be working away from home, to simply be paying attention to life there.
This morning in one of my moments of questioning, I prayed, “Dear God, please just show me plainly if I am still to be at Lifeline.” Boom! At 1 p.m. when our doors opened, there was no stopping till we closed at 4 p.m. People kept walking in looking for answers to questions about what we do, can we help them with this or that, past clients came in looking to start parenting classes again, women needing pregnancy tests…. OUT.OF.NOWHERE.
And when I finally sat and got quiet, I heard God say, “Do you still doubt your purpose here?”
….when you pray…there is an answer….