I think about you on days like today when it’s snowing out of control! You would have been exclaiming over the large flakes and telling me a list of names of people of whom you’d like to snowball or roll in the snow! You would have caught those flakes on your gloved hand and admired their uniqueness and wondered, “how do they know how to all be different?”
You know the nicest thing about today? We don’t have to risk the roads and bundle up from the cold to get you to dialysis. There was no “dialysis delay” for you because of the weather. How many times, though, we went anyway, because it’s what kept you going. Well, that and your love for life and family.
I miss you like mad, and I wish I could still hear your voice. I’d purposely saved 3(!) voicemails from you (for years!), and they all 3 got deleted within months of each other! I had one where you sang to me on my birthday, another one where you were asking me to get a birthday card for Daddy, and another one where you thanked me for caring for you. I cried bitterly when those got deleted. Like ugly cried. Here’s where you’d ask me what ugly cry is, and I’d tell you it’s crying which simply isn’t behaved. I have another birthday voicemail saved, though. It’s from Gerry…she sounds a little like you. She’s a really good surrogate mom, but she’s not you. Sometimes your brothers and sisters think to call me on my birthday, and that is so very special! Aunt Fran reminds me so much of you. Sometimes when I see her I fight tears because she reminds me so much of you.
What’s it like in heaven today? Well, I mean, the Son is shining, and for sure the animals are playing, flowers are blooming, and the River of Life doesn’t ever flood it’s banks. Are you helping to cook that supper we’re promised? I bet you and Judy have the best menu ever planned! And all those great cooks you have to help you! wow!
I can’t imagine the family reunion that happened a couple weeks ago…Uncle Kore, Jesse Lee, Uncle Sollie…the family circle is getting bigger up there. I’m just not ready to give Dad up yet, though. Sorry, mom. He’s doing pretty well. Getting slow, he says. He’d tell you all he gets done is taking care. Judith takes such great care of him, and you’d just love the little house Jonathan and Galen built for him. Some of the rest of the family helped, too. It was an effort of love. We love him so much! It’ll be hard to let him go, but we know that day is coming. I know you’ll be happy to see him…he took such good care of you, mom!
Guess I ought to get back to my day. I’ll write again soon! Oh, the dog in the picture is Daisy…she loves to play! I think you’d like her a lot though I know you didn’t care much for animals. I remember you cooked oatmeal for the outside cats on cold winter mornings, feeding it to them while it was still warm so it would warm their tummies. You were such a great example of care.
Give my love to Jesus. Can you give him a hug for me, please? One day I’ll do it myself. I’m so grateful for the strength I’ve had to keep walking on the road of life since you left. Your leaving left me helpless, but I’ll write about that some other time. I just know I couldn’t do it without Him!
Love you, mom! xo